I work with this man at my job and I cannot tell if he likes me or dislikes me. He will be friendly towards me but we started off on the wrong foot. He used to come to the area where I work and would chat with every coworker but me. It was almost as if he was going out of his way to ignore me. I started to just ignore him back because I really didn't care and he noticed and was bothered by it. The next day he started being where I was and talking to me I guess as a way to apologize.
So I started being friendly again. When I talk to him, he kind of just clams up and never says anything more than a sentence or two. He seems almost short with me. I do notice he is around my area often, that's the only thing I notice. As far as body language goes, I notice he has gotten close to me before like near me very closely. He has touched my arm a bit before too.
I just don't get it. He seems like he really dislikes me. Should I just ignore this whole thing?
This is a serious question that needs serious answers, jokers need not apply. I cannot just "ask" him. That would never work, we are in a professional setting.
Agreed HazelEyesSparkle that Handyman and Willard are being jokers. "Research the wonders of speech"? Research the wonders of *she already knew that.* "Immature head games"? Yes, head games that everyone has to deal with (Gen 24:5, read the chapter for context).
Now, as for the question! As a single (and all too often dense) guy, I haven't mastered the delicate art of romantic communication, so take my words with a grain of salt. With that said, I'm of the opinion that it's very individual. It's difficult for me to say, "You should say this to him," because I don't know you or the other guy.
That said, were I in your shoes, I think one possible way of approaching it would be somewhat direct. I might say something like, "Hey John, I noticed that you've been acting odd around me lately. What's the matter?" After all, it is this other guy who has been acting odd, so I'd say it's on him to provide an explanation. To me, explicitly asking him would have a lot of benefits (including some level of certainty for both of you), but it may not be everyone's style.
And one last thing. I've definitely been in that position of wondering if someone is interested in me. She wasn't! As a single-and-searching guy (and I'm assuming this would be the same for a woman), it's easy for me to play tricks on myself and selectively notice some things and not others. I'm not saying you are, HazelEyesSparkle, but it's tough to rule out the possibility, especially across cyberspace.
That's my two cents. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best in it!
"This is a serious question that needs serious answers, jokers need not apply. "
I may have tried to inject a little humor into the conversation but you have been given some good advice from myself and fdcwillard.
Sadly though you keep acting like a child which is not unusual when it comes to women in general. Most tend very immature which comes from living life through a cloud of emotions and being coddled by society and simpy men.
"I cannot just "ask" him. That would never work, we are in a professional setting."
This comment highlights your childish lack of self awareness. It is precisely the fact that you are in "a professional setting" that HE shouldn't be the one to do the approaching and would be a fool if he does. He runs a huge risk of loosing his job if he approaches a woman and she decides to report him for sexual harassment just because he dared to show an interest in her.
This is just one example of what immature foolish women have done to men and the dating world and you should know this! But you don't and you keep coming on these forums asking some of the same questions.
Unfortunately there are those men and women that won't tell it like it is like I do. Myself and a few others do this because we believe that telling the truth even if it hurts someones coddled feelings is more important then lying to them.
If you want good advice then listen to those who don't try to spare your feelings.
“Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”
There are a few things you want to know about him;
First is he a Christian? Does he honour the Lord God and his Word by bearing the fruits of the spirit. I think this should be your primary concern, before considering him as an ideal date, for marriage. That said, you may not be able to find out if you do not present yourself as friendly.
How about giving everybody a seasons greeting card: New Year, Easter, Weather change, Easter, Christmas? /
You could consider Baking a cake for sharing with all. Or a chocolate box for all to share. Any activity that would allow innocent conversations. You could talk about your inability to pray very early that morning, or that just browse through Psalm 23 the previous morning. That should kickstart a conversation.
Remember the possibility that some colleagues are looking for a fling.
Another possibility is that he maybe stricken by your beauty. Not all men are that confident to say.
